Listen here.
Relationships aren't meant to be based upon example. If you go with the flow, all will come.
We live in a world obsessed with formulas--five steps to this, ten rules for that. But when it comes to relationships, maybe it's time we threw the rulebook out the window.
The Expectation Trap
Too many of us approach relationships like we're following a recipe. We create mental checklists of what our partner should do daily, weekly, or monthly. We establish rigid patterns and wonder why things feel stale or overwhelming.
Don't get me wrong--boundaries and preferences matter. But there's a difference between healthy boundaries and creating a suffocating "relationship rulebook" that turns love into a performance review.
The truth is, excessive expectations can kill even the most beautiful connections. They transform spontaneous moments into mandatory tasks and turn partners into employees rather than companions.
The Growth Paradox: Why Opposites Can Attract Growth
Here's something that might surprise you: some of the most transformative relationships happen between people who aren't carbon copies of each other.
When I've been with friends or partners who were just like me, sure, it was comfortable. No conflict, no resistance--just smoothing sailing. But here's what I noticed: I wasn't growing. When everyone around you thinks the same way, operates at the same level, and shares identical perspectives, where's the opportunity to expand?
Now, I'm not saying seek out someone who's your complete opposite just for the sake of it. But being open to people whose strengths complement your weaknesses--and vice versa--can create something magical.
These relationships offer:
- Fresh perspectives you'd never consider alone
- Opportunities to strengthen areas where you're weak
- Conversations that challenge and expand your worldview
- A beautiful dynamic where you truly feed into each others growth
The Art of Balance: When Differences Work
The key isn't finding someone identical to you or completely different--it's about finding balance. Think of it like a dance where each person's unique strengths create harmony rather than competition.
Maybe you're the planner and they're the spontaneous one. Perhaps you're detail-oriented while they see the big picture. These differences aren't obstacles to overcome; they're gifts that make your relationship richer and more complete.
Of course, this requires navigating moments of disagreement and misunderstanding. But those challenging conversations? They're opportunities to ask questions, gain understanding, and see the world through someone else's eyes.
Your Relationship, Your Rules
Here's the thing that really matters: stop trying to create a relationship that looks like someone else's highlight reel. Every person brings something unique to the table, and every relationship will have its own rhythm and dynamic.
You shouldn't have to chase love or force it into a predetermined mold. The right connections happen when you show up authentically as yourself, allowing the right people to find you naturally.
The Give And Take of Real Love
Authentic relationships aren't 50/50 every single day--they're 100/100 when it matters most. Some days you'll need to give 80% while your person gives 20%. Next week, those roles might flip entirely. That's not imbalance, that's life.
We all face challenges, stress, and difficult seasons. The beauty of meaningful relationships--whether with family, friends, or raomantic partners--is having people who show up for you when you need them, just as you show up for them.
Finding Your Flow
So what does this mean practically? It means letting go of rigid expectations and embracing the unique flow of each relationship in your life. It means being curious about differences instead of trying to eliminate them. It means showing up as yourself and trusting that authentic connections will follow.
The flow looks different for everyone. For some, it's quiet consistency. For others, it's dynamic growth and change. There's no universal template because there are no universal people.
Your relationships--all of them--deserve the freedom to develop organically, shaped by the unique combination of people involved rather than constrained by external expectations.
Take Action: Embrace Your Relationship Flow
Ready to let go of the rulebook and embrace authentic connection? Here's how to start:
This week, try this: Pick one expectation you have in a current relationship--maybe it's that your partner should text you good morning every day, or that your friend should always be available when you call. Let it go for a week and see what happens naturally.
Reflect on this: Think about a relationship where you've experienced the most growth. Was it with someone similar to you or different? What did that teach you about yourself?
Share your story: What does "Going With the Flow" look like in your relationships?
I'd love to hear about your experiences with authentic connection and growth through differences.
Drop a comment below and let's start a conversation about real, messy, beautiful relationships that don't follow anyone else's script. Because your story matters, and it might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today! :)
0 comments